Reflections

Sunday, Mother's Day, May 13, 2007. One of my goals right now is to cut back even more from some of the things I'm involved in because as a mother and wife I really need to focus more on our personal home and family life before leaving in August. I'm trying to tie up any loose ends at the church office as I cross of my "to do lists". I say "lists" because I am always jotting lists down here, there, and everywhere...in the office...on my desk...in the car and by my bed! Okay...I admit I just had a Dr. Suess moment! (I love Dr. Suess!)So yes, I have my notes everywhere and reach for them each day to check and double check myself. I'm also in the midst of taking on-line courses to get my BSN. My bachelor's in nursing. It's a lot and so I am sticking to priority stuff right now, the major upcoming church activities like the women's retreat, our kids' school stuff, and my own house, which is lacking some much needed attention...

I was brought up to go with the punches and live spontaneously and sometimes fly by the seat of my pants, when necessary, which has helped me in ministry and has become a great asset in my life, however, it is also a love/hate relationship with me. I have also learned the value of preparation and timing and appreciate the wisdom that comes with that. Sometimes I am not afforded the luxury of such things as timing and preparation and then I find myself swinging into full gear knowing that August 8th is sneaking around the corner ready to pounce! Sometimes I want others to realize that too...that I have so much to do and I don't desire to spend my summer running around loosing my breath meanwhile not being able to enjoy the activities and people that mean the most to me, family and friends.

I've been feeling out of breath lately although remaining at peace and trying to maintain some sort of balance. I am grateful for the people in my life, you know who you are, who give encouragement and a listening ear, who are the cheerleaders, who recognize that this is much bigger than us...than themselves, and what and who this is all about...being obedient and staying steadfast to the Lord's request...I/we thank you.

I find that each day that passes so far is like a drum roll playing softly and quietly, no one else can hear it really...just me...us...but nevertheless it plays on in the distance as a reminder of what is coming ahead! And each week that goes by it plays just a little bit louder and a little bit stronger, it is not an anxious sound nor does it hurry me up but it remains strong and steadfast, not stopping, not hesitating but continuous and smooth like a waving ribbon with no end. Much like the still small voice of the Holy Spirit that nudges your heart, pointing you in the right direction, speaking words of encouragement and wisdom. I'm glad I can hear that drum roll it helps to steady me to keep me going, it tells me you're goin' in the right direction and that you're almost there!